Freedom — and how to get Unstuck!
Although almost all of us were like the little girl once, most of us do not have her joy and confident enthusiasm later in life. We get stuck.
We get hurt. When you are hurting it is very hard to think and you may do things that hurt other people or yourself. When you find yourself in a situation that reminds you of a time you were hurting, your thinking shuts down again and the process repeats in a destructive pattern.
When we were very young we could recover from our hurts very rapidly by running to someone who would give us love and attention and talking, crying, laughing, shaking, storming about what had happened. This emotional release helped us move on.
When release isn’t possible, we store our painful memories in our bodies as well as our minds. They can get triggered later and stop us thinking and acting effectively, even in our own interests.
A true story
I used to get into trouble with head teachers for asking too many questions and not conforming. I was humiliated and beaten. Later, as an Organisation Development consultant, I found very senior people intimidating and missed many opportunities to make a difference. When I talked about this and my early experience I realised there was no rational reason to feel threatened. There was an emotional reason. The CEO’s office reminded me of the Headmaster’s study! Talking about it freed me from the old fear.
How to become free and get “Unstuck”.
One simple way is to find someone to talk to who will be truly present and allow you to release the painful emotion that is holding you. You can, of course, get “coaching” or “Developmental Counseling” which are both labels for someone offering you one-way attention. You can also do this reciprocally by taking turns. This can work very well and costs nothing except time.
I have recently come across the “Stuck” exercises used by the Presencing Institute. You access the “Wisdom of the Body”. I was initially sceptical but have been astonished how Effective Meetings they can be. You ask a person to move their body into a shape which shows their “Stuck” state. You can’t hold a “Stuck” indefinitely. As the person releases their “Stuck” they get new insights. I tried it on me first, it worked. It has worked well with coaching clients.
You can use a similar approach with a group. I asked a team that was struggling to find a better organisational structure to move around the room and arrange them in a way that made sense. This worked brilliantly, to their surprise and mine.
Finally, there are over 300 other articles and developmental resources on my Practical Developmental Ideas site they are all free for anyone to access, use and adapt. Please help yourself.
